Screen time

 

The worst moment of my week is when I get that screen time report

I was having lunch with a young man who – it just occurred to me, as I write this – is half my age! He’s in his 30s, married, kids, successful career, but is starting to question some things he hadn’t really thought about before. We always have a good conversation.

Somehow as we talked, we drifted into how much time we spend on our phones. He was telling me how he was in an airport recently and it just shocked him how everyone was just sitting there, heads buried in screen time. I told him I noticed the same thing, that doctors’ offices use to have old magazines for people to look through in the waiting room but no longer do, because everyone is scrolling and (I started to say reading, but that’s not necessarily true) looking.

Then I told him the worst moment of my week is invariably when I get that report generated by my phone that tells me my average time spent on my phone per day. It’s always a shock – most recently, something just over four hours per day. That’s not all in one sitting, of course; it’s cumulative, which shows how often I am doing something on my phone every day.

My friend said his number was worse, because of his job. Sometimes it could even be seven to eight hours.

What makes it worse is when you think that you spend, typically, eight hours a day at your job (if you have one), and eight hours a night sleeping (if you can), then the rest of that time is basically screen time – although much of the screen time is also part of those eight hours at work, or for some of us part of the eight hours of sleep if we wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get right back to sleep.

Still, he said, “when you realize that time is our most precious commodity, one thing we can’t get back or recreate, and we’re spending that much of it looking at a screen …” He shook his head. “It really bothers me,’’ he said.

It should. And it is shocking. Trevor Wheelwright, in an article on cell phone addiction (“Cell Phone Usage Stats 2025”), reported that Americans check their cell phones at average 205 times per day and spend, on average, more than five hours a day of active screen time.

Now, I can defend some of that. Instead of reading newspapers (which we don’t have anymore), I get and read most of my news from websites that I view on my cell phone. And there are emails and text messages that are often important.

But still, most of us spend more time interacting with our cell phones than we do with the people we live or work with. If you are single and live alone, work remotely, it’s very possible you might not see anyone “real” for days at a time.

Cultural critic Ted Giola, in his article “The State of Culture 2024,” (published in The Honest Broker), said we’ve moved from playing sports outside with friends to computer gaming; from reading newspapers to scrolling clickbait; from watching full stories on film to scanning reels; from writing letters to cranking out disappearing short texts; from sweetly suffering romantic courtship to swiping right.

There was a recent article in the Wall Street Journal by Pamela Paul with the title, “I Went to a Silent Retreat for Five Days. It Nearly Broke My Brain.” In it, she discovered that a silent, no-phones retreat revealed how disorienting it can be when the mind is cut off from constant digital input.

I realize this is nothing you haven’t heard before. And whether we want to admit it or not, almost all of us know we spend too much time looking at screens. Almost all of us know, deep down, that it’s probably not healthy. But it’s also how life is done now. It’s not just playing games or visiting simulated other worlds (although there is a lot of that), it’s also, as I said, reading the news and checking mail and paying bills and how we get everything from car tags to passports renewed; it’s how we check in to doctors offices now, how we order food at a restaurant (I never realized there are restaurants that have done away with physical menus and now you scan a QR code to see what’s offered).

But really – 200 times a day? An average of more than five hours in a 24-hour day?

It happens so easily. You’re bored, so you scroll. You find a funny video or joke or read a post that interests you. The next time you’re bored, you remember that you weren’t bored when you went on the internet, so you do it again. Only this time you have to look longer to find something that entertains you. And the cycle starts and is repeated. It’s exactly the pattern of any addiction.

We have more information at our fingertips than any generation in the history of the world; but we’re also being lied to more than any generation in the history of the world.

What do we do? The writer of Hebrews says (in chapter 2), “We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”

We like to talk about the evils of what is on the internet, but really, I think the battle is actually not so much good vs. bad as it is volume. Saturation. There is much good to be gained with screen time; it’s not all bad by any means.

The real concern is whether the sheer volume of information we carry in the palm of our hands draws our attention and interest away from what really matters. It might be taking us a way from family, from friends, and ultimately – if you’re a Believer – from Christ. And if we do that, we can lose our direction and find ourselves wondering where the meaning in life went.

We can choose to spend less time looking at our screens. I’m not saying it’s easy; beating addiction (even if you don’t want to call it that) never is.

But if you use the time you gain wisely, it seems to me it will be infinitely better.

I recently read a book on fasting. It wasn’t all about fasting from food, but just the principle of fasting – denying yourself something that you think you can’t live without in order to spend that time focusing on God. It’s a way of saying that thing that you have chosen to abstain from – food, TV, your phone, whatever – is not essential to my happiness; God is.

Because we use those things like food (staying with the fasting analogy) in the correct way when God is at the center of our lives. We use our phones in a healthier way when we make sure God is at the center of our lives.

As Ms. Paul writes about the end of her silent retreat, “In the days that followed, I felt calmer and less reactive. I did not get anywhere close to enlightenment and likely never will. But I believe in trying.”

Amen.

Not a fan

Maybe you should be

Back in 2016, I bought a book called “Not A Fan” by Kyle Idleman. I’d read some of his other books and really enjoyed his perspective, I appreciated his message in this particular book.

In it, Idleman basically asks whether someone is a true follower of Jesus or just a “fan.” He suggests that many churches in America have gone from sanctuaries of worship where people come to be changed, to becoming like stadiums where “fans” go to watch, to cheer on others who are doing the work, and being entertained.

It’s a good book and makes a good point. I recommend it.

However, it also ignores the real-life benefits of fandom.

In the book “Fans Have More Friends,’’ authors Ben Valenta and David Sikorjak say studies show that fans who have favorite teams are twice as likely to be “very happy” compared with nonfans; are far more likely to feel known; and, in general, seem to live happier, more involved and active lives.

Being a fan acts as a social catalyst. Strangers become friends while watching games together or by attending concerts. Sharing your enthusiasm for something seems to overcome social, economic and even racial differences and creates bonds that otherwise would never have existed.

But does such connection last beyond the final horn or last encore? A 2021 study, “Does Sports Make People Happier, or Do Happy People Like More Sports,” published by the Journal of Sports Economics, found “a positive correlation between sports participation and reported life satisfaction.”

Arthur Brooks is a professor at Harvard University (among other things) who has made a specialty of researching happiness. He cites a 2017 study published by the American Psychological Institute that said “team identification makes life feel more meaningful by creating a sense of belonging.”

The nonprofit More in Common study on “Fans, Politics, and the Power of Sports” produced data that says sports fans are much better citizens. Compared to nonfans, fans are on average more likely to be registered to vote (92 percent vs. 75 percent), participate in local elections (64 percent vs. 35 percent), support democratic norms (73 percent vs. 53 percent), donate blood (29 percent vs. 12 percent), and donate to a place of worship (43 percent vs. 18 percent).

Looking at those studies, Brooks asks, “But friendship based on something as trivial as a shared identification with a sports team? Yes, according to no less an authority than Aristotle, who argued in his Nicomachean Ethics that deep friendship generally requires a shared activity motivated not by self-interest, but by a pure and innocent desire to enjoy the activity in communion. “Some men,” he wrote, “drink together, others gamble, others join in gymnastic exercises or hunting, others study philosophy together: in each case spending their days together in that which they like best of all things in life.” If Aristotle were alive today, I like to think he’d also include some men texting each other about shared spiritual concerns….”

Todd Rogers, another Harvard guy, has research previewed by Brooks where Rogers and co-author Audrey Feldman “conducted experiments on strangers who shared sports fandom but differed politically. They found that a common sports allegiance typically brings people together across ideological differences more effectively than shared race, religion, region of residence, or socioeconomic status,” Brooks said.

Ok, but what about those fans who riot after championships? The violence that too often breaks out after a big win? After the New York Knicks won the teams’ first NBA championship in 50-plus years, school buses were set on fire, several people were shot or stabbed, ten police officers were injured, and dozens of people were arrested. Brooks said in his studies, “we would call these instances empirical irregularities,” defined as a “deviation or anomaly in a pattern, process, or outcome that can be observed, measured, or verified through direct experience or experimentation — rather than being explained solely by theory or abstract reasoning (according to my quick Google search). In other words, these are the exceptions that get more attention rather than the rule.

More often, if you witness celebrations after a championship or interactions between people on their way out of concerts, you see a lack of political factions and religious division. It’s just people, watching their team or artist do something great, and causing people to interact and celebrate together and actually “like” each other.

It’s community.

I wonder what would happen if people who went to church – the people Idleman refers to as “fans” – actually became these kinds of fans. It’s not just wearing the t-shirt (plenty of Christians do that) or having bumper stickers on the car (again, I see that), but actively out there talking to each other, interacting with other people; people from other churches, finding what they have in common and overlooking differences in order to celebrate the commonalities.

I met a Black guy (I mention his race only because I’m white, an obvious potential barrier in a relationship) at a conference I attended who was from a city in another state, who it turned out we had very little in common from a social or even political perspective, but he was wearing a t-shirt that said, “If God is your father, you are my brother.” And we found that to be true, that our “sonship” overcame other differences.

Beyond that, the involvement that apparently goes along with being a fan - being registered to vote, voting, participating in local government, giving generously – are all things that Christians in any country should do, to the extent they can.

Actually, according to Worldmetrics, weekly churchgoers are 25% more likely to vote than those who attend monthly or less, with 64% of Christian voters saying they feel more accountable to their faith community when they vote, and 81% supporting political role that reflects Christian values (there is no definition on how these voters define “Christian values”). Christian voters are 18% more likely to volunteer for a political campaign than the general population, according to a 2023 Bipartisan Policy Center study.

And as for generosity, giving to religious organizations (congregations, denominations, missionary societies, and religious media) remains America’s largest recipient of charitable giving. Overall, about 10 million tithers in the US donate $50 billion yearly to church and non-profits, according to Nonprofits Source in a 2021 report.

That being said, the statistical difference in being a fan of sports and a fan of church is not that far off.

Where I do agree with Idleman is wanting to see fans’ hearts change. He challenges Christians to stop cheering for Jesus and get in the game—to pursue an intimate, fully-committed relationship with Jesus with everything they have. That’s the real line between “fans” and “believers.”

But the real lesson here may be something else: when people get involved in something outside themselves, they are happier, more actively engaged, better friends and neighbors and citizens. Psychology Today has had reams of articles on this, how what they call “collective effervescence” – people uniting in a common purpose – fosters a sense of unity. It’s been proven to calm nervous systems and strengthen bonds, reducing feelings of personal discrimination and feelings of isolation.

I’m not talking eternal destiny here. Certainly, I believe an active, seeking relationship with God is far healthier than going to a bar with a bunch of Bears’ fans and cheering on the team. (Although I can see how some might say the bar is more fun).

But I am in favor of people getting involved in something outside themselves, what Brooks called “a shared activity motivated not by self-interest, but by a pure and innocent desire to enjoy the activity in communion.” Anything that brings healthy interaction with others, creating a sense of belonging and reducing isolation, is a great antidote for one of the major problems in society today. In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared loneliness and social isolation an epidemic, highlighting that it is far more than a mere emotional state — it poses significant health risks for individuals and society at large. Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, according to a Harvard University research paper, about half of American adults reported experiencing loneliness, and the pandemic further intensified social disconnection.

The best solution? Intentional social connection.

A good start might just be by becoming a fan.

Sleepless nights

 

We give up control when we sleep; so who is running things?

We can’t fly or see through walls or make ourselves invisible, but I was reading an article that suggested we all have at least one “superpower” – defined as a “rare, exceptional, or highly developed ability that sets them apart from the average person.”

If you were to ask my wife what my superpower is, she’d probably say it’s my ability to go to sleep.

It’s true, I guess. When I lie down and close my eyes, I am usually asleep in just a few minutes. In fact, I don’t like to watch TV while lying down – I have a hard time staying awake. But even if I’m not in a prone position, if I close my eyes for a few minutes, I can drift off.

My wife is envious. She has always hard a hard time sleeping, sometimes only a few hours a night. She would usually go to bed before me – I tend to write late at night – but when I went to bed, she was usually awake. Despite her best efforts at going to sleep, I’d always go to sleep before she did. Usually I’d wake up before her – she would eventually fall asleep for a few hours – and sometimes I’d go downstairs and see the living room furniture had all been rearranged. She’d do that in the middle of the night, because she couldn’t sleep and she’d think of a new look and, since she was awake … well, no time like the present, I guess.

There have been times in my life when I had trouble sleeping. Usually it was due to worry, or stress, or whatever you want to call it. Those are miserable times.

In the Book of Job, (7:4) it says, “When I lie down, I think ‘How long before I get up?’ The night drags on, and I toss til dawn.” My guess is most of us have experienced that, to some degree or another.

It’s hard, not being able to sleep. It’s hard enough to face life when you’re well-rested. But when you’re suffering from lack of sleep, problems tend to become all-consuming. We can blow them all out of proportion, thinking of all the things that can go wrong. One sleepless night is tough; two or three in a row and even the smartest, most resilient people you know can start to come apart.

Sleep deprivation is widely recognized as a form of torture. We know that during the course of a regular day, our cognitive abilities can start to slow down over time. The longer we go without sleep, the more it affects more than just our thinking. I read that after 24 hours without sleep, cognitive impairment is comparable to a blood alcohol level of .10 percent, beyond the legal limit for driving. Our comprehension abilities, our reaction time, our awareness of what’s around us is affected. We can even start to see things that aren’t there.

I know from friends who have chronic sleep issues that pain, combined with sleepless nights, can take over the way you think. Pain becomes the loudest voice in your head, that can drown out rational thought, make you doubt things you know to be true. Sleep deprivation only makes it worse.

Psalms 127:2 says “God grants sleep to those He loves.” King David, for all his many, mostly self-inflicted, troubles, wrote a good bit about sleep. In Psalm 3:5 he said, “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” And in Psalms 4 he says, “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.”

I’m sure people who suffer through sleepless nights can read those verses and question whether God loves them. Why would there be this promise, and then give good people who suffer through no fault of their own so many sleepless nights?

But then there is the Apostle Paul, who writes about sleepless nights in 2 Corinthians 6, including lack of sleep in his list of hardships he endured. He later, in chapter 11, says, “I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep … face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.”

And then I think of Jesus, the night before he would be betrayed by one of his closest followers. He didn’t sleep. His disciples did. He even chides them for not being able to stay awake with Him. But then, they didn’t know what was coming and Jesus did. We talk a lot about all that Jesus endured on that last day; in Catholic theology it’s referred to as the “passion of the Christ” (from the Latin pati, which simply means “to endure” or “to suffer.”). Rarely have I heard anyone focus on “lack of sleep” as part of that suffering.

Again, Job says, “When I think my bed will comfort me and my couch will ease my complaint, even then you frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions.” (7:13-14)

I know people who could say – and do say – exactly what Job is saying.

Why do we sleep? I mean, I know it’s because bodies need time to rest and rejuvenate, even heal. But God could have made us so that we didn’t need sleep. Think about it; if you sleep eight hours a night, that’s one-third of your day. That means if you have a normal sleep pattern, you spend one-third of your entire life sleeping.

What happens when we sleep? Besides our bodies resting and all that. The world goes on without us. When we sleep, we surrender control. We check out for eight hours (more or less). We basically lose consciousness, at least as it relates to the things actually happening around us. All those things we think can’t happen without us – they’re still there in the morning.

And it’s not like other people are awake taking care of our lives while we sleep. For the most part, the people around us who live in the same time zones are sleeping when we sleep. And yet the whole world continues, as if it hardly realizes we’re not participating.

Whether we realize it or not, sleep is basically trusting God to keep everything running, under control, to make sure that – most of the time, anyway – we don’t wake up to a disaster that could have been avoided if only we’d been awake.

Once a day, God has us check out. We like to think we’re in control, but for those eight hours or so that we’re asleep, we’re not. It’s like every day, God sends us a message to remind us that we’re not Him, that he has – as the old song goes – ‘‘the whole world in His hands.’’

Psalms 121 says God “who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.”

In other words, it’s God telling us to rest easy. This remains His world. He is in control.