Take time to read ancient thinkers; they don't want you to repeat their mistakes
Ancient wisdom.
It’s everywhere. It’s not just the Bible, but in our study of history, of writers and philosophers and what might be called “movers and shakers” from the past.
But it’s also in your family. Even if you have what you consider to be a terrible family background, there are stories worth knowing, if for no other reason than to know how you’d like to see your own family story improved.
I read a story about a man who never really knew his father, because his father was in prison for murder. He was raised by his mother and a step-father. But later, as an adult, when his natural father died in prison, he was the point of contact and told to come pick up his father’s belongings, meager though they were.
Reluctantly he went. But while there, the prison guard who gave him what was left of his father’s belongings told him stories about his father. Apparently, in prison, this man’s father became a mentor to younger, new prisoners. He was a guy who was always there to listen to someone in trouble, or who was having to deal with family issues while incarcerated. He was a man who apparently taught himself while in prison and read a great deal. He was liked, and would apparently be missed.
The man was stunned. He had no idea of what his father was like, only that he was in prison for murder and that his mother never talked about him. Yet in hearing stories about his father, he could see there was some good, and discovered traits about himself – the son turned out to be an author, a pastor, a public speaker – that he could see where parts of his personality may have come from.
Even if your story is not that dramatic, there is value in knowing your family history; the struggles your parents and grandparents had, the lessons they learned over the years, stories about the people they knew. There are very often patterns in family history that you see repeated, even unknowingly and unintentionally.
According to a recent study in the American Academy of Arts and Science, 84 percent of American adults read for five minutes or less per day. As someone who has written books for other people, and tried to help get them published, I know it is easier than ever to get a book published because there are multiple self-publishing options; but I also know how difficult it is to get a traditional publishing deal, where the publisher pays for everything in the belief that the book will sell enough for the publisher to make a profit. With so few Americans apparently reading any more, I understand the difficulty.
I admit to being something of a Luddite, uncomfortable with modern technology. Luddites were members of a 19th-century movement of English textile workers who protested the industrialization of their industry out of fear of losing their jobs. (They are called “Luddites” after a legendary weaver named “Ned Ludd”, who may or may not have actually existed but over whose name threats were sent to factory owners and government officials).
While I’m not truly a Luddite in the sense that I am not opposed to new technology, I am slow to learn it and more comfortable – particularly in my old age – with the old ways of doing things.
And some lessons, particularly about human nature, should be remembered to avoid having to be constantly relearned.
I thought about this in coming across a writing by Ralph Waldo Emerson, a 19th Century writer/philosopher who believed people should be self-reliant and individualists and was a critic of countervailing pressures of society and conformity.
Emerson was once described as “a walking middle finger to the dumb traditions and sheeplike thinking that held people back.”
He wrote a long essay called “Self-Reliance” that I think should be taught in every school at the earliest ages.
According to Emerson, we need to reclaim our privacy. “My life is for itself and not a spectacle,’’ he wrote. How different that attitude is to today, when it seems as if there is no event, no emotion, no feeling that shouldn’t be shared with absolute strangers on social media – what’s called “oversharing.”
He also said we need to stop conforming to others’ thinking. “Whoso should be a man must be a nonconformist,’’ Emerson wrote. Even if you’re inclined to believe what you hear, you should still be skeptical. When you read or hear of something happened that sound outrageous, or are told that someone said something really offensive, see if you can find another source that verifies what you’re being told. I’ve fallen victim to quoting someone for something in turns out they did not say, just because it sounded like something they could have said. I’m still shocked at how much stuff is repeated, particularly on the internet, that a simply search will reveal to be false. And yet so many people get so worked up over it because – as the saying goes – “I read it on the internet; it must be true.”
Which brings up the next point: be true to yourself. “The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” Emerson also recognizes that going your own way can have a price. “For nonconformity, the world whips you with its displeasure.”
Don’t always go for instant gratification. Some things take time, and are worth pursuing even if it takes a while. “Instead of the gong for dinner, let us hear a whistle from the Spartan fife,’’ he writes. Have self-discipline. Refuse yourself instant, easy reward. Does it sometimes hurt? Of course it does. Going after the best rather than the easiest often does. But it’s usually worth it.
Then Emerson seems to go on to say that silly things, trivial things, immoral things, are not even worth condemning. Just eliminate them from your life. Don’t give them another thought. He says, “If you are noble, I will love you … but if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions.” Focus on what can improve you, not on what frustrates you.
But also be willing to change your mind. This is hard, especially when people today seem to want to hold others accountable for attitudes they had years or even decades ago, as if people can’t change. With age should come maturity; with maturity, a better sense of what’s important and right. We should change. Emerson wrote, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by littles statesmen and philosophers and divines.” Say what you believe to be true without apology, even if it’s not what you said last week or last year.
Because it’s important to speak the truth. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Maybe especially if its uncomfortable.
But – and here’s where I go back to another source of ancient wisdom – the Apostle Paul writes in his letter to the Ephesians, “speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Speaking the truth in love is not just about honesty. How often have you heard someone start a sentence with “I’ve got to be honest…” and know that whatever comes next is likely to be hurtful? We should speak the truth in a way that builds up other people, not offends (although offense sometimes can’t be avoided). Because, as an old Christian hymn based on the writings of John says, “They will know we are Christians by our love.”
As a t-shirt I once owned said, “Even a dead fish goes downstream. Go against the flow.”
I think Emerson would agree.
