There is no point to this story, other than it's true - and the adventure in Mississippi never stops.
The other night I'm driving back from the Point Cadet, the dock behind the Isle Casino, where the BillFish Classic was being held. It was late - I'd been there all evening, watching four boats come in (out of nearly 70 entered in the two-day tournament) with big Blue Marlin, the largest weighing 702 pounds.
Now, people that know me know I'm not a hunter or fisherman. I like my sports on solid ground - football, basketball, baseball, golf. But I've got to admit I got sucked into the excitement of watching these giant fish being hauled off the back of these multi-million dollar fishing boats and hung upside down to be weighed.
I was telling the tournament director my surprise at how much fun this really was, that the closest thing I'd seen to this was at a BassMasters Classic where they fill up a small arena, bring the boats in on trailers with music blaring and an MC whipping the crowd into a frenzy, then the spotlight hits the boat and some angler opens the fish well and pulls out some big bass to the cheers of the crowd.
"You know what we call that?'' said Bobby Carter.
What? I said.
"Bait," he said, with a grin.
Anyway, it was late and as I go to start my car to leave, I notice it doesn't want to start. It finally turns over, but once running the electronic read-out says "battery not charging." However, since I hadn't seen any warning lights prior to this, I assumed the alternator was out and I had enough battery to get home and to the store the next day.
Unfortunately, about a quarter mile down highway 90 the lights started dimming and the car starts backfiring. Just past the Hard Rock, right in across the street from the Beau is the only gas station-mini mart on that end of Biloxi. It's a gold mine; it's always crowded.
My car finally goes dead but I am able to make the turn into the quick-mark parking lot and pull up almost all the way into a parking spot, next to a nice SUV. I get out and open the hood. There's a guy sitting in the truck and I say, "Hey, do you have jumper cables?" He does.
The story is not nearly as interesting as the people, so here goes:
This guy was just sitting in his truck. He tells me he was waiting on his wife, who is across the street at the Beau. She is supposed to be out shortly and call him. There was no place for him to wait over at the Beau, so he'd parked in the last spot at the end of the mini-mart lot to wait.
His name is Ken. He never tells me what his wife is doing in the Beau. But he is very nice. He has to dig through all kinds of equipment in the back of his SUV - fishing poles, coolers, stuff that was put away very neatly and orderly - to find his cables, which I was embarrassed about because I remember I have jumper cables in my trunk, but he had already halfway unloaded his SUV by then.
He gets them out and he's telling me how this happened to him recently, and he went and bought a new battery but it turned out it was his alternator and he hoped my luck would be better than his.
While he's popping the hood on my car, another guy comes up and says, "Hey, guys, my car ran out of gas about two blocks up the road and they don't have a gas can here and I need some gas."
Neither of us had a gas can, but this guy proceeds to help put the jumper cables on my car while Ken and I discuss how to get a gas can. We get my car started, but as soon as we take the cables off my battery, my car stops.
"That's your battery,'' Ken said. "You're going to have get a new one."
Where? Turns out both men know there is a Wal-Mart just up I-110, in D'Iberville, that is open 24 hours.
The second guy - who eventually tells me his name is Mike - asks me if I have any tools, which I do, and he says, "well, let's get the battery out of your car. You're going to have to exchange it for the core."
The problem, of course, is how to get to the Wal-Mart. It's 11 o'clock at night, and Ken says he'd really like to give me a ride but he doesn't know when his wife is going to call and he has to be there for her. In fact, I can tell he is trying to figure out how to do it anyway when I say, "If we get some gas for Mike's car, Mike could take me to Wal-Mart."
That was when Mike came clean.
"Hey, I have to tell you the truth,'' he says. "I don't have a car. I'm homeless. I'm just trying to get some money. I haven't eaten all day."
Meanwhile, he continues taking my battery out.
Ken and I just look at him.
"So there's no car?" I say, stupidly.
"No,'' he says, trying to find the right wrench to loosen the cables.
"You can't take me to Wal-Mart even if we got you a gas can,'' I say, still stupid.
"I'm sorry,'' he says. "I was just embarrassed to tell you the truth."
Ken looked at me and says, "Well, if my wife calls, she might let me take you to Wal-Mart, but I just don't know."
A cab pulls in the parking lot.
"Maybe I can take a cab,'' I sat.
I walked over to the cabbie and say, "Hey, I have a dead battery and need a ride to Wal-Mart to buy a new one. Will you take me?"
I can tell he doesn't want to. He wants to go inside first, which is fine with me. I want to go inside too, and get a drink. But my car is outside with two guys I didn't know, one of whom is homeless and hasn't eaten all day.
So I stand there at the front door, trying to keep one eye on the cabbie and one eye on my car where Mike the homeless man is busy under my hood.
The cabbie comes out and says, "I can't take you, but this guy can,'' just as another cab pulls in. "Hey,'' the first cabbie says, "Can you take this guy to Wal-Mart and back?"
Understand, all this is going on at 11:30 at night, across from one of the busiest casino/hotels on the coast, in the parking lot of a quick-mart where every parking spot is full and every pump is busy. People are coming and going all around us.
"Sure,'' the second cabbie says. "Let me go get a drink."
I go back to my car, only to find Ken has left but there's another guy helping Mike the Homeless guy take my battery out. While I stand there watching them, this girl walks up in a tank top and tight jeans, push-up bra, tattoo, and asks this new guy for money. A four-door pick-up truck is now parked beside my car, and as the back door of the truck opens, several empty cans of Amstel Light fall out of the floorboard onto the ground, and the guy and girl start to laugh.
"Well,'' she says. "Why don't you give me some money and while you're playing auto mechanic I'll go get the stuff,'' and he pulls out his wallet and gives her some money.
I say to Mike, "OK, I've got a cab that will take me to Wal-Mart,'' and the new guy says, "Don't do that. Go ask the cab what he's going to charge you for the trip and I'll do it for half."
Turns out he is the driver of the truck that was parked next to me, the one the empty beer cans fell out of.
So I go to find my cab driver and ask what he's going to charge me.
"I'll do it for 20,'' he says. "Normally it would be about 15 both ways, but I'll do it for 20.''
I figure this isn't a bad rate and decide I'll go with the cab instead of the truck with the two guys, the empty beer cans, and Miss Push-Up Tank Top with Tattoos. But when I get back to my car, the battery is out and already in the back of the pick-up truck.
"I'm going to go with the cab,'' I tell the new guy, whose name I still don't know. "The cab said he'd take me for next to nothing."
"OK,'' says the guy, and immediately Homeless Mike runs over and pulls my battery out of the back of the pickup and says he'll take it over the to cab.
Then it hits me. I've got my car in the parking lot of this mini-mart and it's close to midnight. I can't lock the car because the window is down and won't go up without power. I decide to get my back-pack that has my work computer in it and put it in my trunk. However, when I open the trunk and put the back-pack in there, suddenly I realize the trunk won't close because it's electric.
Now I've got my hood open, my car unlocked with a window down, and my trunk open with my golf clubs and assorted other stuff in the trunk. There are people coming and going constantly in this parking lot, it's midnight, and I've got to leave my car to ride in a cab across the bridge to D'Iberville.
I decide to take my backpack with me to Wal-Mart. Homeless Mike takes my battery and puts it in the back of the cab and I try to figure out what to do to protect my car.
"I'll watch it,'' Homeless Mike says. "I'll just stay here and look out for you."
"Mike," I said. "You already lied to me once. I promise if you watch my car I'll make it worth your while. We'll get some food and some cash. Just please watch the car and don't let anything happen to it."
"I won't,'' he said.
"I mean it, Mike," I said. "I'm in a bind here. Can I count on you?"
"You said you'd make it worth my while,'' Mike said. "Why would I mess with you when you say you're going to make it worth my while?"
Meanwhile, Ken comes back with his wife.
"Hey, if you still need a ride to Wal-Mart, my wife doesn't mind if we take you,'' he said.
I have to admit I was touched.
"No, thanks,'' I said. "I'll take a cab. I really appreciate it. You take your wife on home and have a good evening."
But that he made a point to come back across the street to check on me meant a lot. He didn't have to do that, particularly with a wife that he'd made it sound like he was going to be at her beck-and-call.
So I get in the cab and drive off to Wal-Mart.
Now, the cabbie is not the guy whose picture is on the cab license hanging from the rearview mirror. He's down from Hattiesburg, he tells me. He moved down to take care of his grand babies, because his son moved down here to find a better life. ... You know the story. I hate to say it's a cliche, but it is.
We drive to Wal-Mart, and all I can think of is my car sitting wide open in the parking lot, being watched by a homeless guy who, for all I know, could get arrested just for loitering, and how far would he go to stop someone from taking stuff out of my trunk anyway?
We get to Wal-Mart. The cabbie decides he'll go in with me. He gets a cart and puts the old battery in and we walk in together, go to the automotive section. The woman working isn't overly happy to have to wait on me, but she tells me there is a book over by the batteries and if I find my car model, it will tell me the size of battery I need, and when I find the battery let her know and she'll ring it up for me back there.
I find the battery, and the cabbie comes over. He's found a seat cushion he wants to buy, and we make our purchases and head back out to the cab.
We're driving back and he tells me how his oldest son died, and he doesn't want to lose his youngest. But his youngest feels like he knows everything, and the old man would like the son to join the military, but since he's already lost one son he doesn't want to risk losing another, and anyway this son has a good job as a trainer at the KFC where, because he trains new employees, he gets plenty of overtime and even though they want to make him store manager he doesn't want to be the store manager because he likes working as a new employee trainer better.
And all I can wonder is, what are the odds a homeless guy has stayed with my car and really looked after it?
We pull into the gas station and there's a police car, lights flashing, and a crowd gathered next to my car.
My heart sinks.
But it turns out the police are there for the crowd, and as I get out of the cab Homeless Mike pops up from in front of my car where he's been sitting on the curb by the engine. I pay the cabbie his 20 bucks and wish him well, and Homeless Mike gets the new battery and won't let me help him put it in my car.
This time, I get a flashlight out so he can see. Why I didn't do that to start I have no idea, except I was trying to figure out what I was going to do and didn't think of it.
Lights are flashing behind us. I turn around a a car full of girls is parked next to us, and they keep taking our picture, for some reason.
But Mike gets the battery in, and - voila! - the car starts! The trunk closes. The window goes up.
"OK," I say to Mike. "Tell me what you want - you want food? I will take you in the quick mart and get you what you want. Or I'll take you to a fastfood place and get you something better."
My guess is that he'll just want to go inside for beer. But this night has been full of surprises.
"Have you eaten?" he asked.
I tell him I have even though I haven't, but I'll take him to get food. There's a McDonalds across from the Hard Rock, and he asks if I"ll take him there.
"Sure,'' I said. "We'll go inside and I'll get a drink while you eat."
We jump in the car and drive down to the McDonalds. Mike tells me he had a car, but he was sitting in a casino playing quarter slots and drinking and when he came out he got busted for DUI and the police impounded his car. He said he got to a judge and since it was just his first DUI they fined him, but he didn't have the money to get his car out. He'd gone to a temporary work agency and got one day's work and earned $35, but there was no work the next day when he went back.
We go to McDonald's and I tell him to get what he wants. "You get a meal, and I'm going to give you some cash, too,'' I say.
He orders a No. 1 and I get a sweet tea. I give him $35 cash, because that's all I have.
"Wow!" he said. "You don't know what this means to me. This means I can get a shower and eat tomorrow."
"Well,'' I say, "You can do whatever you want with it. It's yours."
"No,'' he says. "I promise you I'll use this wisely. I won't misuse it. You've really done me a favor."
Again I say, "No, you earned it. You can do whatever you want with it. I hope you do use it wisely, but it's yours to do whatever you want."
I ask him if he needs a ride anywhere else, and he says no, he's going to sit there and eat and for me to go on. He thanks me again and we shake hands and I leave.
I realize how fortunate this night has been. It's now well after midnight. I've run into nothing but people who were willing to go out of their way to help me; strangers of a different race, maybe looking at an old man in a pair of khaki pants and billfishing classic t-shirt and a beat-up old Cadillac and figure I'm one step away from being homeless myself.
I don't know. But it was a glimpse of the way life should be.
By the way, I went back to look for Homeless Mike the next day, in the daylight. I'm not sure why, except to see if I could help him out again or something. I couldn't find him.
Hopefully, he found some work and got his car and his good deed was rewarded.
We have a saying around the response:
You can't make this stuff up.
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