I have alluded several times to what I think is one of the most interesting and important stories in the Bible. I'm big on stories that explain a truth that carries over to today. It's one of the reasons I love the book of Job so much - Job suffers these assaults that he doesn't deserve, and that there is no earthly explanation for (despite his friends' best attempts to tell him otherwise). I draw great comfort, for some reason, in that there is an unseen "world" where our lives and the actions of those in that spiritual realm intersect.
The Genesis story of Adam and Eve presents an interesting set of parameters. In Genesis 2:25, the last verse of chapter 2, it says of Adam and Eve, "And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." By verse 7 of Chapter 3 we read, "And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked ..."
Something happens in eight verses that transform Adam and Eve from "naked and were not ashamed" to "they knew they were naked" and they went and made coverings for themselves and actually tried to hide from God.
What happens, of course, is the infamous "fruit" incident. The Serpent comes and tells Eve that if she eats of the one tree (and the command was not to eat of that one tree; there is no command prohibiting Adam and Eve from eating of the "tree of life") she will not die, despite what God has told her.
As a side note, it's interesting that apparently Adam was there while Eve was having this conversation with the snake. He didn't say anything, I guess, but just listened. And I wonder how many of us hear things being proposed that we know are wrong, but we don't say anything because we are curious how this will play out; that maybe it will play out to our advantage. At least in my marriage, I know I have been guilty of not stopping my wife from doing something that, deep down, I didn't think was the best of ideas. I didn't say anything (I would never say "I allowed her to do something;" she has free will in our relationship!), and I wonder if because down deep I probably wanted the same thing, but by letting her make the decision it became a win-win for me: if what she chooses works, I enjoy it too; if it fails, I can blame her. That's not how a healthy relationship is supposed to work.
So anyway, the Serpent says, "You won't die, but you'll gain the knowledge of good and evil and be like gods."
Did Adam and Eve not have knowledge of good and evil prior to that moment? I don't believe so. They had only been told one thing in the entire world that they were not to do (not that they "couldn't" do, because obviously they could do it; they were just not supposed to do it). Even though there was a 'tree of life,' God never told them not to eat of it. And up until that moment in time, eating from that one tree had probably not even really been a temptation because there was so much other stuff to occupy their time, and besides - being with God was so much better than fruit!
As a child, my parents told me to play in our yard but don't leave the yard. It never occurred to me to leave our yard, because I had everything I wanted right there ... until one day the toy I was playing with crossed the fence. Then I was faced with a dilemma: disobey my mother and go get the toy, or wait for my mother to come home and ask her to get the toy (which she would have). You don't even have to ask what I did. I climbed the fence, got the toy, and suddenly realized I could leave the yard with no apparent repercussions. (There eventually would be, but that's another story).
Back to Adam and Eve. They had access to the entire world, animals, whatever landscape and water there was, plenty of fruit to eat, and they got to walk and talk with God their Father every day! I think their entire identity was tied up in that relationship with God the Father; their entire sense of worth and value came from that relationship as children of God who had been given everything they could possibly want; they were completely unaware that there was anything else ... I started to say unaware that there was anything else they could want or hope for, but I doubt they even understood the concept of "want" or "hope for." Their entire sense of awareness was built on that relationship with God, like a baby in its mothers' arms. A baby is part of the entire world, but you know it lives for the time when Mommy holds it, nurses it, talks to it, plays with it. So I can see Adam and Eve running and laughing and playing, and then hearing God coming and dropping whatever they were doing to run find God, like children hearing Daddy's car pull in the driveway, running to welcome him home (I had to get a Daddy reference in there, since I did the baby-Mommy thing).
Then, with one bite of the one fruit they had been told not to partake of, their perspective changed.
Suddenly, Adam and Eve became aware of each other. No, they became aware of themselves - they became self-aware. They had just taken their first action of free will that was outside the boundary God had given them, their first action independent from God. They'd crossed that fence into the neighbor's yard (so to speak).
It had to be something of a shock. Disobedience does that. You suddenly find you have the ability to do something you'd never done, that previous to that moment had never even considered doing.
And as a result, Adam and Eve did indeed become aware of "good and evil."
And instead of living entirely for those moments when they could look into God's face, to hear Him laughing and cooing and playing with them; now they - for the first time in their lives - become "self-aware." The phrase "Hey, look at me!" entered the world. They found they could make decisions independent of God.
And as a result, we have clothes.
Not that I'm against clothes. I'm self-aware enough to know no one wants to see me without clothes, and chances are I don't really want to see you without clothes, either.
But the point - and I do have one, I think - is that Genesis 3 is where we became "self aware."
And we've been struggling with it ever since.
When we no longer get our sense of value and worth based on "walking and talking with God every day;'' when we fail to see our value for the way God sees us, then we start to look at our selves - our own 'nakedness,' so to speak - and, by extension, then we start comparing ourselves to the folks around us, either to build our sense of self-worth or recognize the areas where we lack - that's sin.
And that becomes the crux of so many problems. We look at other people and we judge. We look at ourselves and become so self-absorbed that we give ourselves emotional problems. We have self-doubt or become over-confident; we justify ourselves or get hung up on guilt; we feel cheated or disrespected and start to focus on ways to get revenge. We have sleepless nights thinking about something that either happened to us or that we did to someone else long ago that we just can't get over.
I'm convinced so many of our problems come from being focused on "self."
We generally think of being "self-aware" as a good thing, at least for the most part. But the Bible tells us that we're not supposed to be 'self-aware' - at least from an introspective definition - but to be 'Christ-aware.' The whole, "less of me, more of Him" thing that Paul talks about; Galations 2:20: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
A dead person can't be self-aware. And while I try to be "dead to self" as Paul would say ("Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus." Romans 6), I struggle with being very much alive to my own conscious, my own desires, my own emotional "nakedness" if you will.
Which means my sense of self-worth still comes from how I view me, and how I think others view me, without a clear sense of how God views me. I don't allow myself to do things because I'm afraid of what people might think, or what happens if I do it wrong, or what if I make a mistake. Then I beat myself up over decisions I have made that may have turned out poorly, or hurt someone.
In other words, I spend a lot of time thinking about myself.
Unfortunately, I too often see myself as Adam and Eve must have seen each other, hiding in the bushes, trying to string branches and leaves together because they were, for the first time, noticing each other's body parts - the differences, perhaps the flaws (although what could they have compared each other too?), the scratches and bruises (if there were any), maybe even saying, "Ooooh, is God going to be made at you!" Adam blaming Eve, and Eve saying, "Why didn't you stop me!" And both of them trying to keep from being found out.
There are many ways to define "sin." Generally, its an act considered to be against divine law. But I also think it's anything that we allow to get between us and God.
And the first thing to get between me and God? It always seems to be my awareness of myself, my sense of self-worth, my sense of entitlement, my my my and me me me.
No wonder clothes can be so expensive.
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