A vacation of all shapes and sizes

Before ''the accident,'' I was almost ready to start running.
Well, maybe jogging.
Or just walking at a slightly faster pace.
At my last physical, I told this wonderful doctor that I'd found in Gulfport that I needed to lose about 20 pounds. He told me, "Why don't you just start with 10 and see if you can stay there for awhile." See? I told you he was wonderful.
So anyway, I was losing weight, going on an almost-nightly 45-minute, roughly 4 mile walk down through the Gulfport small craft harbor and Jones Park. I was starting to feel pretty good - like I said, almost ready to start speeding up some.
Then came "the accident." I feel like I aged three years in three months. I put on the weight I'd lost and then some. And forcing myself to exercise became very difficult.

Then last week we went on our family vacation. MG insisted that we do something to get away as a family before the older kids went back to college. She wanted to go to the beach, but me being either practical or cheap (depending on your point of view) I said we couldn't be sure MG could take a full week away and we'd run the risk of renting a place at the beach and only using it for half a week, so why didn't we go to St. Louis instead?
Now, St. Louis is where six of MG's seven brothers live and work, and one of her two sisters. (Yes, if you are counting, there are 10 kids in her family). "The brothers" as we call them are in real estate development, and they have downtown lofts we knew we could stay at, or we could go up to the lake house.
I was naturally concerned as to how MG would take riding in the car for a roughly eight-hour trip, so we rented a large Tahoe - ironic, because it was a Tahoe that hit MG, and standing in front of that massive SUV as well as sitting behind the steering wheel looking out over the hood gave me a new sense for just how much force hit MG that Saturday morning; one more reason to be thankful she remembers nothing about that day.
We made as much of a bed as we could in the middle seat, and MG laid down while the boys alternated riding in the passenger seat next to me and riding in the third seat with SB. I don't know why SB didn't take a turn riding up front with me. She should have. It just didn't happen.
It was not an easy trip, but it was definitely worthwhile. MG got to see her brothers and sister, their spouse and children. MG's Dad came up for a few days and all of us guys went out and played golf one day in 105-degree heat.  It might as been as close to heat stroke as I can ever remember.
The first night was one of the most memorable, however.
As a family, we were sitting on the outside patio of MG's sister's restaurant (Blondies, on the corner of Washington and 13th), laughing and enjoying some amazing dessert. Two girls who looked to be probably college-age or just older came by on bicycles, and we joked with the boys about these two girls, who rode up to the intersection with Washington Ave. where a crowd was gathering.
I had my back to Washington Ave, but was facing my sons, and suddenly I saw their eyes get big. I turned around in time to see one of the girls pulling off her shirt, and to see that the other already had her shirt off.
And suddenly, a stream of people on bicycles came rolling by, down Washington Ave., in various stages of undress.
Turns out, it was the annual "Naked Bike Ride'' through downtown St. Louis. I don't know how many people rode by, but it had to be close to a hundred. Many were in their underwear, but quite a few women were topless and quite a few men and women were completely naked.
Now, I might be an old man, but I'm still a guy. And even as I write that, I think "wow!" But the truth is, the reaction was more like "whoa!"
Being a guy, you say "naked bike ride" and you think "naked bike ride of gorgeous super models."
Instead, it was the naked bike ride of very ordinary people, mostly male, and mostly people you didn't really want to see naked (if you're the kind of person who likes to see naked people at all).
It was kind of like the time we were on a cruise ship, and docked in some Carribean port next to a ship that had a "nude sun bathing" deck. The ship I was on was taller, so we - myself and a couple of the guys I was with - were looking down on this ship.
And rather than the "nude sun bathing deck of European super models'' that we hoped for, what we saw was the nude sun bathing deck of elderly, sun-dried and shrivled grandmothers.
Another friend of mine who has traveled extensively told me about how anxious he was to see one of those nude beaches in Spain - until he got there and saw images of body types that he can't get out of his mind, no matter how hard he tries.
Still, on this night in St. Louis, everyone lining Washington Ave clapped and cheered as if riding a bicycle naked through downtown St. Louis took some special skill.
I admit I had mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I felt like I should have been appalled. On the other, I was in college during the hey-day of streaking. In fact, I was at the University of Georgia when they supposedly set the record for largest "streak,'' thousands of college kids who met at the quad, took off their clothes, and ran through campus.
I wasn't one of them, by the way.
However, one night I was in a girls' dorm room on campus (which was allowed) when we heard this huge commotion outside. We - my friend and I - looked out, and it looked like every guy from the guys' dorm next door had stripped and was circling the girls' dorm where I was. And then, apparently, girls started taking off their clothes and 'flashing' the guys from their dorm room windows (which, of course, I couldn't see since I was in the girls' dorm at that time, and needless to say the girl I was with didn't participate).
I figured the best reaction I could have to the naked bike ride was to simply laugh it off.
Needless to say, it was quite a welcome to St. Louis.

The best thing for MG was the pool at the top of the building where our loft was. One of The Brothers turned up the heater on the pool to 91 degrees so it was like bath water. It was the middle of the week, so nobody was up there except us, and MG was so excited to get into the pool. She was able to float and for the first time since the accident was pain free. She moved and did her exercises and floated and felt, well, 'normal.'

But eventually MG had to get out of the pool, and when she did the pain came back. At times it was horrible. Other times it was just unbearable. It's a helpless feeling to lie in bed at night next to someone you love and hear her cry and know there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Still, it was a great week. And now we're back home. Roecker is already back at school. SB leaves soon. Gray starts his senior year of high school this week. I am back on the coast during the week.
It is amazing how independant MG has become. She is walking with the cane and sometimes without the cane. She still has drop foot, but has begun out-patient therapy and we've been to a neurologist to get a baseline of nerve damage to the leg, so we know what we're looking at.
People ask us continually what they can pray about, and I'd always say the pain: if MG could just get the pain under control, could just not hurt every minute of every day, the rest of her disabilities (which I still believe are termporary) would be bearable.

The timing of all of this has been amazing. I've written about this before, but there was a time when SB was going to intern in South Carolina, but I pushed her to take an internship in Birmingham that I thought would be better for her resume. We thought Roecker would be gone all summer doing basic training, but it turned out there wasn't a place for him so at the last minute he came home to Birmingham and we were fortunate that he was able to get an internship in Birmingham as well.
The accident occured in late spring, before the kids were out of school. But by the time MG came home from the hospital, SB and Roecker were home. The whole family was there, and it made a huge difference in the care-giving while MG recovered.
All along, we knew the day was coming when SB, in particular, would have to go back to school and we prayed that MG would be in a place where she wouldn't need round-the-clock care. Sure enough, as we near the time of SB's leaving, MG is sufficiently independant so that she can be alone at night, or at least where Gray can care for her.
God is good. I can say that in the midst of all that has happened, because even in this horror, we see His Mercy, His reminder that He continues to look after us. As I've said, I believe in God's permissive will, meaning I don't think God caused this accident but rather allowed it to happen because He has given man free choice and this man that hit MG made a bad choice. But I do believe that even in the midst of those bad choices, God's will won't be thwarted and His presence can't be denied.

When we left St. Louis, it was the day before yet another niece would be born, so we have one more reason to get back as soon as we can.
I told MG that when we returned, we'd be riding bikes down Washington Ave.
But don't worry; we'll keep our clothes on.
I'm a long way from being anybody's fantasy.