When bad news can be good news

"If you stand back and squint your eyes, you can see the perfect circle ..."
That was our orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Lowe, talking us through the newest batch of x-rays taken of MG's pelvis Friday morning.

 Every time I see the pictures, I'm stunned. There is just so much metal, and you wonder how screws that long can possibly fit inside the human body; bright white screws and metal plates that look more like a chain link bracelet dominate the otherwise shades of gray that are MG's bones and ligaments that show up in x-rays.

The "perfect circle'' Dr. Lowe was trying to get us to see is the circle formed on the interior of the pelvis. It wasn't that hard to see, but Dr. Lowe is such a perfectionist I think he wanted us to see it with the same sense of satisfaction that he saw it.

The truth is, we did. He showed us where the bones are growing back together nicely from all the breaks around her pelvis, and where the new bone is growing. I remember him telling me that eventually new bone would grow and the old bones would heal and all the metal would be superfluous. Not that they'd ever take the metal out, but that it would just no longer be necessary.

Of course, I couldn't let Dr. Lowe get away with the "stand back far enough and squint'' line. I laughed and said "Come on, Doc. If you stand back far enough and squint, I look 50 pounds lighter!''

But I could see how good his handiwork was looking, and seeing MG walk - not ride in a wheelchair or shuffle behind a walker but actually walk (with the use of a cane) - into the clinic was amazing. And the x-rays only reinforced that the pelvis is looking like a pelvis is supposed to look again.

However, that kind of progress means we can start to talk about some of the other injuries that, quite frankly, didn't seem as important early on.

Like the knee.

MG's left knee has not been right since she came home from the hospital. She can't bend it fully, and the inflammation has not gone down. It's been frustrating for her, because she couldn't seem to get anyone to address the knee. We did get a MRI of the knee, and the doctor just told us everything looked normal so not to worry about it - easy for him when he's not the one trying to turn over at night, or raise his hips to shift positions, or pick up a pillow that's fallen on the floor.

Now, however, Dr. Lowe suggested we actually see an orthopedic surgeon. He said doctors can't rely 100 percent on tests, that nothing replaces actually seeing a patient and putting your hands on an injury. Dr. Lowe is not a "knee" guy, in that he considers an injury like this a "sports" injury and his specialty is really trauma surgery. So we'll go see the best "knee" guy we know, David Adkisson.  

MG has been telling the doctors that her lower back - lower back as in her "bottom" - hurts, especially when she sits down. The pain has been excruciating and unrelenting, and the pain medicine that she's been taking has done nothing for it. Up to now, we feel like we've been ignored, that they keep saying it's just part of the pain of recovery.

This time, Dr. Lowe went back and rechecked the x-rays again, and came back to tell us MG had a fractured coccyx.

I don't think it's that anyone "missed" this fracture before as much as it was, given the severity of the other injuries, looking for a fracture like this just wasn't a priority. But now that everything else is starting to heal, Dr. Lowe checked over the x-rays more closely.

As painful as a fractured coccyx is (extremely), and as disappointing as it is that there is really nothing you can do about it but wait, and as pain as it is that the coccyx apparently doesn't heal quickly, this was good news in the sense that we finally had an explanation for the pain.

As MG said, now she knows it's not that she's a wimp or has been imagining it or whatever. This gives us a reason, and knowing 'why' is a huge relief - plus knowing that maybe, just maybe, the fracture will heal and the pain go away.
Of course, it makes me wonder what else might have been missed in the initial flurry of putting MG back together again.
I'm sure we'll find out, sooner or later.

More good news was that Dr. Lowe also cleared MG to take anti-inflammatory drugs, and our internist prescribed what he hopes is a good anti-inflammatory that he believes will dramatically reduce the pain. We're hopeful, and in fact Saturday was a better day. Now whether that's successful medicine or just optimism, we'll find out going forward.

I have to say I do get caught up in MG's optimism. Every day that she wakes up, she says her first thought is "maybe today the pain will be gone." I was not there with her for the first three or four months, because I knew it was going to take time. I heard over and over that this would be a year in the healing. So I have always tried to temper her enthusiasm by reminder her of that.
But now when I wake up beside her and we spend the first few minutes talking, then eventually I get her laughing, and then we start making plans for what we're going to do "a year from now, when everything if back to normal," I too think, "maybe today."
So far, that day hasn't arrived. But it's getting closer. I believe it.

So that's where we are today. As I said, it was good and bad, but mostly good to see the healing that has taken place.
It was very sad to see SB go back to college, because she's been such an encourager and practical helper to her mother all summer. I hate that SB didn't have a "normal" summer home from college (although she did a great job in her summer internship). I hate that SB feels so responsible and puts pressure on herself to try to make everything right - to take care of me, her brothers, the house, and of course her mother.
It's not easy, particularly when the guys of the house are not as considerate. I mean, the house looked clean to me!
So I'm happy that SB is back at school where she can be a college kid again. We packed up the old Explorer and she headed off with a new steering wheel cover - my going-away present to her. Look, when you're driving a 17-year-old car, a new steering wheel cover is a big deal; particularly when the original material seems to come off in your hands every time you drive.
That puts us in the market for a new car. We were going to need one anyway and had talked about it. But now the decision is: do I go for safety, which I'm inclined to do, and buy MG a big, hulking dump truck to drive that would take the impact of a Tahoe like a fly bouncing off an elephant? Or do we go for fun, which MG would like, and get another convertible?
 Or do I compromise and maybe get an SUV that offers both size and some fun?

MG is not quite ready to drive, but the therapist has urged her to start. I'm thinking I'll take her back to the church parking lot on a Saturday, when it's empty, like I did the kids when they were learning to drive, and put her through all the tests - forward, backward, circles, figure-eights, parking - that I did the kids.
I don't think MG will be gun shy, since she doesn't remember anything about the actual accident. But I am concerned the limited mobility could be a factor if she has to react suddenly or needs to turn to see something over her shoulder.
I'm not letting her drive until I am confident she'll be safe.
Of course, that might mean she doesn't drive for 30 years.
MG may not be gun-shy, but I am.
At least when it comes to her and her safety.