Tired of the sensitive stuff; looking for the scar

I appreciate those of you who have been kind enough to ask me about my blog, but I just have nothing worthwhile to say (not that I did before).

For what it's worth, I'm reading a lot, and I get inspired. But when I turn the laptop on and get in this  space, I just go blank.

Some of you - maybe many of you - come here to see updates on MG. I don't know that I can do that because of where things are right now. It's difficult, but it's not really different. We knew this would be a long, long process ... and it has been all that and more. We are trying to determine what "normal" is, and pray that it's not this, that there is something else coming.

I will say something, however, that struck me as I was thinking about this stuff.

There is this one particular incision on MG, from one of her surgeries. They didn't close the wound because they said it needed to heal from the inside out. Apparently - and I'm not a doctor and wouldn't even begin to play one - the sensitive, connective  tissue inside had to grow back and reconnect before it could be covered by the outer, tougher, protective layer of skin.
And then comes the scar.
The scar usually is a sign that we're healed, that we no longer hurt, but it's a reminder of what happened.

I think that's the way it is for many of us, too. We want the tough, protecting covering when what we need is to have the sensitive, connective tissue grow back first.

I want the tough protective covering; I want the scar. I'm tired of the sensitive stuff.

But I have this feeling that for proper healing to take place, this is what has to happen and to try to jump over one step will only cause me problems down the road.

Which sounds like so much psycho babble ....

The other thing that occurred to me was how many people are involved in MG's recovery. Teams of people - doctors, nurses, physical therapists, family, friends.

And it seems to me we make a mistake when we try to heal on our own. 

We have family. We have friends. We have professionals - pastors, counselors, doctors. 

As much as I like my solitude, as much as I like to live inside my head, as much as I think I should be tough and responsible for myself, that's not the way God  created us to be.

I am reading Genesis (again). God said "it's not good for man to be alone." He said that even though He and Adam apparently communed regularly. Adam had God all to himself, and yet God still said "I am not enough; Adam needs someone else." And God provided that someone else.

Because in the end, God knows our needs, and He is enough in the sense that He provides for those needs.

I hope that makes sense. It seemed terribly profound to me at the time.

And  I hope the words start coming again, for my sake.