Believe it ... or not

In the fall, during the course of this second career that I've stumbled into, I often had the pleasure of being involved in conversations with different levels of government and community officials trying to determine "how clean is clean."
One particular government official was a particular challenge, and it was important to reach some mutually acceptable standard of "clean.'' But as the discussions went on, he kept saying he was not going to believe the company that I worked for; then a little later he'd say he wasn't going to believe the United States government; even later he'd say he wasn't going to believe scientests; and evenually he'd insist he wasn't going to believe university researchers.
No matter who we suggested could be the arbiter of "clean," this particular official kept finding a reason to doubt the integrity of that person or institution.
Finally, at the end of yet another round of meetings, I couldn't help myself.
"So who will you believe?'' I asked. "The truth is, it's the nature of our culture to not believe. No matter who we put up as a possible authority, we can all find reasons to doubt them.
"At some point, you're going to have to decide who you believe and commit. When you decide who that is, come back and tell us, and then we can go forward."
Believing in anything is difficult these days. We've all been so disappointed - in products we buy, in the government we elect, in the preachers we listen to, in teachers we learn from, in parents, in friends, in spouses, even in our pets and perhaps even ourselves.
In fact, it's almost embarassing to admit to 'believing' in anything. Certainly it's not "cool."
Doubting is safe. We wear skepticism like a badge of honor.
I thought of this recently when I read a quote from C.H. Spurgeon: "Faith encourages every virtue; unbelief murders every one."
Think about that. I could go on for a few paragraphs breaking that apart for you, but I couldn't improve on what Spurgeon said.
When I was a kid, growing up in my traditional Southern Baptist church (http://raymelick.blogspot.com/2011/03/chapter-1-conflict-of-growing-up.html) I was terrified of commiting what we called "The Unpardonable Sin."
It was that sin that we were told God would never forgive us for, and in my King James Bible that sin was referred to as "blaspheming the Holy Spirit."
In my amazingly impressionable little boy mind, I lived in terror of committing "The Unpardonable Sin." In my little world "blaspheming" meant "taking the Lord's name in vain,'' which again, in my sheltered little world meant "cussing."
Now, I didn't cuss. But it's like the old trick of telling someone they can think of anything they want, but they can't think about elephants. Inevitably, they think of elephants. It's almost impossible not to.
So the more I'd think, "Don't use God's name as a cussword'' inevitably the "word" - or that certain combination of two words, one of which was indeed "God" - would pop into my mind.
And I'd be terrified that I'd just committed "the Unpardonable Sin" and was doomed for all time.
Silly, I know. And a psychiatrist/psychologist/counselor can probably have a field day with that story.
Later, of course, I finally learned what the "Unpardonable Sin'' really is: unbelief.
Unbelief is the only sin for which people are truly, permanantly condemned. I believe in God as presented in the Jewish-Christian Bible with roots in the Reformation, which means I believe that salvation comes by faith alone, which means you have to believe.
Think about it - unbelief is the originator of all sin because it is the ultimate rejection of God, who is completely and utterly trustworthy.
So the "unpardonable sin'' is not believing in God. If you don't believe in God, if you choose to go your own way, God will let you suffer the consequences for that unbelief. I think it was one of C.S. Lewis's most profound statements that went something like, "In the end, either we say to God 'Thy will be done' or God will say to us 'Thy will be done.'''
And one thing I do know is that I don't have the power to save myself. My will, in fact, tends to lead me into trouble.
It's not just God, however.
We want to elect leaders who believe in something and stand by that belief. Unfortunately, too many of our elected leaders seem to believe only in doing what it takes to stay elected. 
Go back to my government official. He was elected because somebody - or a lot of 'somebodies' - believed in him.
But he let that paralyze him into indecision, because he was terrified of believing in the wrong thing, causing all those people to stop beliving in him. Therefore it was easier to just not believe in anything, because that seemed safer..
Spurgeon went on to say, "Once a giant stops believing, he then becomes a dwarf."
We have a lot of dwarfs in this world.
It takes a brave man to stand up in the face of so many skeptics and be willing to say, "I believe.''
Oh, sometimes I don't always live like I believe. Sometimes my belief waivers.
But I do believe.
Because life is just so stupid when you don't.