We all know you can't take any commercial too seriously. Commercials are kind of like jokes - if you try to analyze them, they lose any value they may have ever had.
Still, it's getting to the point with some commercials that you watch and find yourself wondering if for the sake of entertainment they've forgotten what they are trying to sell; or if they even realize what they are suggesting by their "storyline."
Like the current State Farm commercials, where the company would have you believe that singing the jingle "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there" has magical properties, like rubbing a genie's lamp or seeing the first star of the night.
You've seen the commercial. There's an accident - a ball goes through a window, a car backs into another car - and everyone is upset until the insured sings, "Like a good neighbor ..." and suddenly the insurance agent appears and says, "I'll take care of this."
That, in itself, is terrific. If only insurance agents really did show up that fast and with such confidence.
However, it's what happens next in these commercials that leaves you wondering.
The uninsured in the commercial then begin to sing the jingle, finishing with a wish: a sandwich, a hot tub, a new girlfriend or boyfriend.
At worst, it means the insurance agent is a pimp, there to meet the carnal desires of you heart. Don't like the way your significant other looks? Insurance can handle that.
How?
That raises all kinds of interesting scenarios, doesn't it?
Is the suggestion that the insurance agent can fix you up with the person of your dreams? People have been killed over insurance policies before, of course.
Or take the sandwich-hot tub scenario. What is the suggestion here - that the settlement you'll get will be more than enough to not only fix the problem, but leave you with enough cash to get something else, too?
Now if we're honest, we know tha actually does happen. Take the lessons of the disappearing Delta 88.
Years ago, I had an Oldsmobile Delta 88. I actually liked the car a lot. It was the biggest car I'd ever owned, a big four-door sedan, that was extremely comfortable given the amount of driving I do/did. And before getting the Delta 88, I had a two-seater convertable MGB; and before that, a Ford Mustang.
But in the space of about a year, the Delta 88 was stolen three times. All three times it was stolen from in front of our house. Two of the three times it was recovered at the same house a few miles from where we lived at the time; the third time it was about a mile beyond that house.
The police told me GM cars were the easiest to steal; you could do it with a hammer and a kitchen knife. The car had been stolen during a rain storm, and the guess was that some kid was walking along and decided to take the car. Because it was a kid, the police said it was pointless to make an arrest, as the kid would be out in no time. The case, to them, wasn't worth pursuing even though, as I said, the car was found at the same house two of the three times it was recovered.
There are a bunch of good stories about these episodes; stories for another day.
The point here is that each time the car was stolen, my insurance company - let's make it nameless - rewarded me with a check far greater than it actually took to fix the car.
But after the third time, this enormous insurance company dropped me without warning. Not only couldn't I get car insurance, I couldn't get homeowners insurance. It was only because of a great insurance agent from another company who convinced his company to insure me with my promise that the only way I'd make a claim for the next three to five years was if my house burned down. And I didn't. I learned my lesson - I only make insurance claims in true emergency situations.
But these commercials seem to indicate that State Farm is saying when you make a claim with them, you might just wind up hitting the lottery: getting more money than you really need, allowing you to get a sandwich, a hot tub, mnaybe even a new partner.
Is that really good business, to have an insurance company seem to promise more than just fixing the problem but also improving your life?
In all my dealings with insurance companies, I never did get a new significant other.
But then, I never had reason to ask, either.
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