Good in bed, that's what I said

So on one of the last weekends I was home, the boys and I went out for lunch at a nearby barbecue place, and then my youngest, the Dawg, said he wanted to get a haircut so we drove down to this place we go because you can almost always walk right in and get your hair cut. You may never get it cut by the same person twice in a row, which means every haircut is kind of like a roll of the dice, but it was convenient and the people are nice and, like I said, there is very rarely ever any wait.
So we go in and, sure enough, the Dawg can get right in a chair. They ask if I'd like to get a hair cut, but The Heir looks at me and says, "Dad, you don't need a haircut. You look great."
Now, vanity says maybe I really was having a good hair day and I did look good. But it was more likely that The Heir didn't want to go to the hair cutting place in the first place and certainly didn't want to sit there through two hair cuts.
Knowing that, I said no, and The Heir and I sat down to wait.
"You want to read a magazine?" I asked.
"No,'' said The Heir, looking at the racks of magazines like Glamour and Redbook and Cosmopolitan, every woman's magazine you could think of.
"I don't think I need to know 'Five Tips to Get a Guy' or "How to Tell if He's Really Into You" or ..."
He stopped just short of the next one, an article on "Are You Good in Bed?"
There was an awkward silence.
But I couldn't resist.
"You know, I'm good in bed,'' I said.
The Heir got that look of terror on his face, the one he always gets when he thinks we're getting ready to have a conversation he wants no part of.
"I don't need to hear this, Dad,'' he said.
"But I am," I asid. "You're mother says so."
He was looking off in the distance, thinking maybe I did need a haircut - and right now - after all.
"I'm sure,'' he said, terror growing. "I really don't think - "
"I have this one position that's my best," I said, smiling innocently. "Ask your mother."
"Daa-ad ..." he pleaded.
"Yeah," I said. "I curl up on my side, and I'm out like a light. I mean, I can go to sleep in no time. You're mother has always been amazed at my ability to go to sleep. She says I can sleep anywhere, anytime, through anything.
"I never have trouble sleeping. When I hit the bed, I'm out. Even if I do wake up in the middle of the night, I can go right back to sleep. I tell your mother it's because I have a clear conscious. But the simple truth is, I'm just really, really good in bed."
The Heir still couldn't look at me.
"That's what it means, right?" I asked. "Being good in bed?'
Oh, the joys of being a Dad.